How Dancers Can Challenge Negative Self-Talk

Written By Auti Scolman

By Auti | The Elite Dancer’s Mind

If you’ve ever stepped off stage and immediately thought, “That wasn’t good enough,” or looked in the mirror and thought, “I’ll never be as good as her,”- you’re not alone.

Dancers are trained to strive for excellence. But sometimes that drive can come with an inner voice that’s not so kind. This is called negative self-talk, and it’s one of the most common struggles dancers face- especially at the elite level.

Let’s break it down, and learn how to talk to yourself the way you’d talk to a teammate.

What Is Negative Self-Talk?

Negative self-talk is the critical voice in your head that tells you things like:

  • “You’re not flexible enough.”

  • “You messed up that pirouette- now everyone thinks you’re a failure.”

  • “You’ll never be good enough to make that team.”

Sometimes it sounds like your own voice. Sometimes it echoes something a coach or classmate once said. But here’s the truth:

Just because you think something doesn’t mean it’s true.

In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), we talk about the thought–feeling–behavior triangle.

  • Thoughts: What you say to yourself (consciously or not)

  • Feelings: What emotions show up after that thought

  • Behaviors: What you do as a result

Example:

  • Thought: “Everyone’s better than me.”

  • Feeling: Insecure, anxious

  • Behavior: You hold back in class or skip auditions

CBT helps us notice unhelpful thoughts, question them, and replace them with ones that are more true and supportive.

A Dancer Scenario

Let’s say you’re learning a new combo and struggling with the timing. You mess up twice and think:

“This is so embarrassing. I can’t do anything right.”

That one sentence can instantly affect your confidence. It can make you shut down, go quiet, or avoid asking questions- all because of a thought that may not even be true.

What would happen if you caught that thought and replaced it with something more realistic?

“Everyone makes mistakes when learning something new. I can figure this out.”

See how different that feels?

A CBT Skill: Catch It, Challenge It, Change It

This is one of my favorite tools to start building awareness and flexibility with your thoughts:

1. Catch It
Notice the negative thought- like “I’m not good enough.”

2. Challenge It
Ask:

  • Is that 100% true?

  • Would I say this to a friend?

  • What’s another way to look at this?

3. Change It
Replace it with a thought that’s kind and honest:

  • “I’m allowed to have off days.”

  • “Struggling doesn’t mean I’m failing.”

  • “I’m learning, and that’s enough.”

Try it yourself:
Write down one negative thought you’ve had recently in class or rehearsal. Walk it through the 3 C’s- Catch, Challenge, Change.

Final Reminder

Your brain is powerful- but it’s not always accurate.
You deserve to speak to yourself like someone who deserves to be here.

The voice in your head should sound more like a pal- not a bully.

Auti Scolman